Destination is only Received by Journey # 5

Greed for Change

A strange situation! I have not yet taken a step, but I begin to dream of the destination. I, the silly one, am developing an intimacy with this novelty, and my ‘ego’ (extremely subtle) is calmly watching me as though wanting to say something.
O, is this revolution?
The revolution that brings about a radical change justifies its true significance only after its death?
This Death is the Death of our own ‘ego’, of ‘me’ and ‘mine’.
The small circles of ‘I’, ‘my’, ‘me’ cannot produce the seeds of revolution. It is only when I find these seeds growing within me that I learn that they are the seeds of revolution. When do I sow them? I do not know.
As soon as these buds sprout up, the crowds of thoughts and reflections begin to disappear and I begin to receive the message of riddance from the clutches of greed and attachment. This self-exploration brings to light countless secrets of body and mind. More circles of experience follow every experience and they tend to enlarge and expand this humble existence of mine.
The circles of thoughts and reflections, which were shaking my existence like an earthquake, lose their fury. They come but soon depart, as their action falls out of the range of my consciousness. Therefore, during the stay that came upon me, my subtle ‘ego’ began to have an occasional glimpse of my ‘ego’ (extremely subtle).
This rare and unique contact, this brief glimpse that intervenes the brief moments as they pass, this rendering, is isolating this being day by day.
Thought process is only a journey, not a destination.
I am now having this experience. The possibility that life is something else has begun to unveil itself.
I have begun to realize clearly the ostentatious, cold, nauseous, and selfish temperaments. By virtue of the Beauty of the new buds, the experience of the gracious smell emitted from the interior depth of the being has begun to catch self-abandonment.
I am watching this ‘self’ of mine with surprise. I find it hard to believe how it can be possible; it is actually happening to my own ‘self’! No, no. It may be a dream or something similar. Am I awake or asleep? In my senses or out of sense, I cannot understand. What should I do? I again look at the burning taper of experience, and then, cannot help believing it.
These Beautiful experiments are enriching and deepening my Life, covering the unexpressed feelings, and deepening my breaths with the sweet, soft murmur of patience and fortitude. The reflections of these feelings are teaching the stagnant, brackish Water of Life how to flow.
These live tapers now begin to search for the person in whom their Light is in full splendour. Uphill now with the exception of Nature, I have not been able to find any human, in whose company I can destroy my ‘ego’.
I paid visits to most illustrious personages, but none could impress profoundly my inner ‘self’. Their presence only bored me. These moments can bloom only in solitude. It puts me in mind of the old practice of sanyasa.
When dialect changes after every ten miles, fashion changes after every ten years, also, traditions changes it is then of great importance to give a new mooring to Life, to have a rich, precious Life-situation.
Today, my existence is also in quest of solitary moments within, keeping away from the market and the societies, endeavouring to approach itself. Existence shows no high-handedness. Existence keeps on going unrestraint and it is its duty to keep pace with this process. If it does not, the process covers itself with the pall of dry temperament.
The moments of today are guiding Life even in other directions.
Whether I am in Chaura Bazaar of Ludhiana (City in India) or in the mall of America or Canada, the Beauty and glow which I find in the countenance of materialism, I do not find on the countenance of a religious minded person at a holy place. Why? Why don’t we get the same relish in meeting a holy preceptor that we find in meeting a common person?
Isn’t it the result of our insipid, nauseous deeds?
In short, the dust that falls off from this being is transforming it.
The fist full of articles grows restless about opening itself. Now many worldly considerations crop up in my mind only to face liquidation. At times such questions, such circumstances come and besiege me. They simply fill me with surprise as they depart, after making their appearance, leaving no influence behind. After their departure, some questions crop up again, taking me into their confidence or coming with me into mutual understanding, destroying that portion of my being in which they occur.
This liquidation of certain parts of existence feels most agreeable.
The most remarkable thing is that not everybody can see this elimination.
I have heard the revered elderly people say, “If we proceed only one step towards the Supreme Power, it will move one thousand steps towards us.” Today, it is coming out to be true, for:

My life is getting replenished.