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The candle does sin when it is shy to give away its light: # 2

Unique Encampment


The being melts like a candle when it brings itself into relief and takes its stand on the summit of life’s tower; a deep breath contracts existence but expands life. I am a pure illumination with full consciousness of my wakefulness—then what should I say, friends, that we merely exist but that we are pure existence
Today how does life feel through a brief glimpse of this yes? The next page is ready to share with you this experience.
What should I call those experiences which transpire in moments and which scream in the ecstatic state—which stir my feet into rhythmic motion—yes, what name should I assign to them and how should I define them?
What name might I give that period that pauses in the shape of moments and appears in rare glory and splendour? How might I identify it?
In that stagnant period, in what colour might I dye the shape of my own identity that it confirms—yes, it is the same, genuine colour.
It is not possible to convey through the verbal garment the warbles of colourfulness of those moments, their comprehension and expression; for infiniteness cannot be enclosed within bounds, though, in fact, the boundary-line is only a part of that boundless one. This body of words does not step down the threshold of the boundary-line, but the sensation stirred by the depth and profundity of these words does cause us a tremor of the consciousness of those experiences and provide us a pause of moments.
Friends, in the duration of those experiences, feelings bloom which give us this understanding as to what is sat and what is asat—what is its underlying secret?
There is never any difference between sat and asat, between the true and the untrue. Only a beautiful consciousness dawns upon us and makes us aware or conscious. This very state of awareness brings before us the shape of our true identity and enriches us with the understanding of this world, this life, and the myriad shapes of the universe; and thereby makes life contented and fills it with the satiety of completion and perfection.
One day I was driving my car on the freeway; the weather was fine as rain had just stopped and the trees were steeped in beauty and freshness. The whole nature was glistening in the faint sunlight. Suddenly, in this gorgeous colourfulness, my eyes fell upon a tree and there an extraordinary dialogue ensued:
Is this tree—true?
Is this tree—false?
In this discussion of truth and false, the tree became dissolved and disappeared and there remained only that state in which there was that experience—it was a most blessed state. Just as at the sight of the seed we cannot apprehend the tree—for seed is a mere seed and the tree an expansion of the seed—in the same way the real element in the tree is energy. When we are in this state of existence, we perceive only energy as the expansion of the truth vanishes. In the profundity of meditation, we lose consciousness of our physical frame. The tree is a mixture of the sat and asat.
The expansion—spreadoutness—is asat, energy is sat. What is true, is eternal, immutable. What changes, passes away, is asat; they are the stages or encampments in the journey of our life that get left behind.
An understanding of the world takes us far across the world; the understanding of life wafts us away from life. Then we reach an unusual, unique, and beautiful field of experience and our own self-recognition bestows upon us a perfect satisfaction or contentment.
A well-satiated adornment then comes and casts its influence upon our mode of life. I am going to introduce it, as a unique encampment of my life replete with matchless beauty.
It is what I feel and perceive,
It is what I am conversant with.
It is what may be called the zest of experience which, transforming itself into understanding, beautifies and tranquilizes life and lends it contentment which becomes uncovered in the lap of quietness.
This very feeling—which is far off from egotism,
This very consciousness—which is positive in quality,
For this I invite you all to come and become tinged in its hue.
Friends, if nothing in life is sat and asat, then there is also nothing good or bad. Today I will describe this consciousness in my own words.
All that which is visible in a mixture of sat and asat, all that we do, is the combination of right and wrong.
Wherever we stand and whatever we perceive is sat for us. Then whatever we do is right for us; for no one thinks wrongly for himself or herself. Our thinking capacity is very limited, the moment we declare ourselves in the wrong, our reflective process becomes unlimited. Then whatever step we take to justify ourselves becomes for us ‘jap’ (holy recitation) ‘tap’ (ascetical practice, prayer, and worship and lays down for us the foundation of religion.
But it becomes a very painful situation, when our social structure calls our structure of life, which is easy and simple, hard and callous and, by painting the world as an abode of evil, overwhelms our minds.
I cannot tell at what stage my existence is standing. It stands bewildered at the sight of the rhythmic state of the combination of discordant notes, but uttering “Wow! Wow!” (Admirable! How admirable!) bows its head before the Unknown.
Today this deep awareness of life apply a brake to my existence. What now should I do?
Today it says what is worth saying and spoke out what is worth uttering. The Vedas, Shastras and other Holy Scriptures contain the most excellent essence of our collective life; nothing can describe the essence (quintessence) of life more plainly and beautifully than they do.
Where do I stand today?
~What is the rhythm of my feelings?
~What is the radiance (illumination) of my experience?
~What are the fresh traces of my existence?
~What forms the uncommon stages or encampments of my life?
How can I handle and dispose of them all, how should I conceal them? Neither my existence nor my life can digest it. It is a very difficult state. Then the inspiration that had awakened from the depth of my being emerges and thumps me and making me realize that there is another individuality or identity that would take me to a journey.
~Quite novel impressions and culture
~Beautiful, gaily of sight
~Religions and sciences
~Spiritual peace and blissful secrets
All these things, new spheres part into words and scatter in the blissfulness of space and time. What will be its next quest? It is not for you to think about.
It is realized that in a righteous life words carry little weigh—yet it is only through the medium of words that we become acquainted with one another. These words cannot bind our shapeless experiences into verbal forms. For the bodiless, one is boundless—while corporeal brings are controlled by bounds and limits.
Then today—
To do = nothing
To be = nothing
To pause = nothing
Then what should I do?
Today, those possibilities hidden behind the mind and the intellect give us a glimpse; even its faint light purifies us. If, led by this inspiration, I wish to relate this state of my life, the first question that arises is: what name should I give to this state? For this is the state which can be only felt or experienced. Therefore, I keep it alive without assigning any name.
Today I see that:
Every person is a pilgrim of a new journey and carries within them the pearls of countless impressions. This experience is very keenly realized. If today the Vedas and the Shastras can be gone through one’s personal identity that support every person, then the heavy chains that bind the boat of impressions fall off and I find myself getting my release in the vast ocean of existence. Those caravans of feelings and perceptions that pass through these totally novel occurrences leave their footprints on the page of life. Today the Vedas and the Shastras become the milestones in my journey and accelerate the speed of my existence; and my moments, wrapped in the experiences of Krishna, Buddha, and Nanak, come to rise my life to the highest summits. In the true sense of the word, this origin that gives the true sense of life—this vast physical universe—has become my comrade in my quest.
What is life?
And then:
What is this journey?
What is Sat?
What is spiritual bliss?
What is an individual?
And then:
What is God?
Every conscious meaning wrapped up in this “what,” of its own accord, introduces itself to us. How our novel state of today takes the orbit of this series of countless circles, and feeling that we are being enslaved by sanskaras, then raises the slogan of liberty; how feelings and passions give speed to life and how thoughts come forward and give life; a hint about its direction—I will only exclaim, “Wow!”
Today, like this life when a series of words takes the shape of a sentence and the sentence completes itself, the journey also points out different directions and, in it the endlessness of life gives its message in a friendly way. Today putting these messages under discipline, and thereby laying the foundation of the path of ascetical practice, is a most valuable happening.
Though freedom and choice are a human’s matters of pride and glory, put to proper use they can be made only by a human of pure mind and intellect. For when I peep into my past moments I see:
No doubt that as long as I had egotism in my head, I led my life; but life had no zest, it was very insipid. When I was in I’ness, what achievement had I made? What had happened? Nothing, whatever is happening today, is the achievement of life’s doing.
Because when life has to depend on itself, it is put into its pure, immaculate state.
Today, I would like to give the feeling and perception of the manifestation of a new, beautiful life, not as ‘I’ in the sense of Ego, but by using myself as Shaheer because every individual is unique and his journey will naturally be unique. How this ‘Shaheer’ experienced this life, how she proceeded with the Vedas and the Shastras, how she felt the connection of science with the world, started with this experience:
The houses that act upon the teachings embodied in those five words are highly blessed.
This precept from Gurbani applied the first brake to my existence so that I might do self-study.
What are those five words?
Are they related only to Sikhism? Or
Do those who follow Radha Swami’s faith also cross the Ocean of existence by sitting in the canoe of these five words?
Can merely one who follows these five words acheive God?
Are these words a passport for entry into the world Unknown?
What will become, if it is,
~of those who are in a tranquil state but have knowledge of these five words?
~of those who follow some other paths and reach the summit of life?
~of those who live in the world in a spirit of dedication?
I saw that those who followed those five words or applied the label of any religion to their persons live arrogant, self-conceited lives because they own some religion. In consequence:
~they recklessly pursue wealth because they have some ‘gurus’ or guides.
~they have no knowledge of life, but claim to have attained or are likely to attain to a far higher state of existence.
I ever sought an answer to this question and at the same time I kept thinking that some true guide, true devotee, some true saint wouldn’t put humanity under any restraint, that whatever he might think would have its impact on humanity.
Then who puts humankind under any restraint? I know full well that a tree does not need any support; it is a creeper that needs the support of a tree.
This precept of Gurbani gave my life reflectiveness. It took me thirty-two years to understand the meanings of those five words. I remember that I was placed in the ninth class. I acquired knowledge about the five elements. At that time, these five words and the five elements had touched the chords of some deep connection in my heart. However, my neglectful stage of life did not pay any heed to it; you might say that it was not the opportune moment or stage of life.
Suddenly when I stepped into the fortieth year of my life, an event took place. I had just returned from the morning walk with my mind in a state of depression. So I simply collapsed in my bed. Despite depression I was gradually feeling peaceful and in comfort. I cannot say how long I lay in this state or where I lay and why, but I kept lying; what was I doing? I was in no mood to brook any such interrogative mark. I lay quietly. Suddenly, my body rose with a start! “Wow”! It was the first moment when I realized with my eyes open that my body rose and I, standing apart, was watching it. Only my tears took me out of this indescribable and unendurable state—when I, besieged in a strange state, uttered a shriek and cried aloud. I would look sometime into one room and sometime into another; sometimes I glanced at the trees and sometimes at the sky and kept weeping. At times, I wished to clasp the flying birds to my heart and at times I would have liked to beat myself up. What ultimately happened and how I recovered, I know nothing. First of all I called up my mother saying, “Mother, I wish to embrace the whole world. I wish to provide meals for the whole world; mother I wish to invite the whole world with loud shouts!”
Mother kept asking what had happened to me, but I put down the receiver. Now, as I stood by the window of the kitchen and watched the trees growing outside and stared at heaven, this very pleasant environment brought tears to my eyes. I, hands raising upward, the head shaking, and from the core of my heart a faint booming sound coming, stood uttering, “Wow! Wow!”
The deep echo of the five words was rising from within and transporting my interior to the universe. My ears were stunned, mind and intellect peaceful, and my existence was quiet. The outspread of five elements was linking me to the universe.
Five elements + five words
Human—the world—the universe.
The world—silence
The universe—silence
Human—silence
Silence—it makes us one
Silence—is our bridge
In this state of silence, I am passing my life.
I am quiet—the world too, has grown beautiful
I am quiet—all became harmoniously united.
We were three but silence made us one; then not one but thousands of experiences came.
Why?
Where did the change take place, what changed?
Had this world or the Universe changed, it would not have been only my experience; then what?
Have I changed? Yes.
During the period of six months when I remained in the state of silence, I underwent a change. This silence itself was my meditation, but I was not aware of this fact. Of course, a series of good, happy events gave me hints, but I did not wish to exert my brain even in thinking. Nevertheless, when I saw, I only said,
“Meditation is the guide or preceptor of all.”
Today that Gurbani that I had read in the past came to my aid. So far I had heard that such situations often occur in meditation, so I did not lose my nerve nor consider myself to be mad. I was only in wonder or amazement. How could such experiences befall me? I was totally defeated and disheartened. But friends how could I know that the real truth lies in “hare ko hari naam”(line in Gurbani which means—anyone who’s defeated attains the name Divine). This combination of five elements and five words, to me, tell an unusual and unique story.

Five Elements
 Earth
   Water
Fire
Air
Sky
Five Cognitive
Organs
 Nose
  Tongue
Eyes
Skin
Ears
Senses
  Smell
   Taste
Sight
Touch
Sound
The choice of fragrance and stinking smell,
The appraisal of taste and tasteless,
The melody of the beautiful and the ugly,
The distinction between truth and error,
The interest in attachment and detachment,
The balance among them,
Makes life easy,
For—
Senses become absorbed in taste, 
Taste in mind, 
Mind in life, 
Life in food, 
Food in earth, 
Earth in water, 
Water in fire, 
Fire in air, 
Air in sky, 
Sky in energy,
Then:
With the help of: fragrance, light, taste, touch, and music, our life acquires wisdom, knowledge, virtue, and awareness.
These five experiences taking different shapes and different hues give us a suggestion towards meditation and thereby make life beautiful.
Thus,
Light contains Fragrance
Fragrant with taste
Taste in music
Music with touch
Touch with awareness.
With is we obtain the consciousness of knowledge. They all awaken our feelings of pain, make us thoughtful and reflective, grant us the awareness of the quintessence of life, and thereby, bestow upon us freedom in the most perfect state.
A) Now I come to the moments of meditation—
1) The body becomes bodiless, that is, the body loses its consciousness.
2) The motions of the feelings and emotions and the caravans of desires come to a stand still.
3) The speed of respiration slows down for medi-tation takes place in the head and then life lends peace to our breaths.
4) Energy reaches the middle of the eyes and turns into light.
5) The ears become deeply stunned or paralysed.
6) The sense of I’ness dies out, while only the consciousness of light and awareness remains.
B) About the moments passed in life—
1) We lose the consciousness of a healthy life. We are linked to the body when we are in trouble or pain.
2) In joy we feel light.
3) When I was once riding a ski lift up the Whistler Mountain, a feeling of lightness came and gripped my body and the deep environment of silence stunned my ears—the consciousness of a beautiful, pleasant surrounding brought my thoughts to a stand still. Then I lost even self-consciousness. I kept standing in this experience for a long time.
4) It is a common experience for all of us, that whether there is a beautiful object or feeling, some glimpse of nature or a tune or rhythm of music—in every rhythmic composition our ego dies out and only we remain.
We are the experiencers—when we are tinged in any experience, our I’ness disappears; and along with the attractiveness of the body the attractiveness of the mind and the intellect also vanishes. We nearly transcend our physique-comprising five elements. At that moment neither the bodily weight nor the restless flow of the mind and the intellect and stimulation play any role, only a thin layer of ego remains. All our energy blossoms into experience and enters a still more ecstatic (rapturous) state.
5) Similar occurrences came during my aerial travels, and even come during all long driving trips. When we transcend our egotism and watch carefully, we find in them the essence of life, but we do not speak. These slight jolts of life can become for us ascetical formulae. If we study them with deep reflection, we find them all external experiences, which prove helpful in convincing us. But by means of them, we cannot see our true identity—
“for the virtues of our awareness appear in meditation.” 
Our external activities can make us fully conversant with our experiences. However, it is only meditation that helps us see ourselves in the truest sense.
C) About the stagnant moments of our existence—
What are we? What is our personal life? It is a problem, a thirst that we are carrying along, for we are helpless. This helplessness stings us, life looks like a heavy weight which, though reluctantly, we carry on.
~What is this weight?
=Weight comprises—fear, worry, suffocation, or oppression, despair, and helplessness.
~Why are these weights upon us?
=Owing to our ignorance—lack of understanding.
~Ignorance of what? 
=For we are not aware of our selves because we regard ourselves as wise and well aware of everything.
We all live for the protection of our bodies, not for our own protection—at the most we live for society not for ourselves; while, as a matter of fact, we are not merely bodies—only bodies are a part of our total being—a part of our life from which the body receives its speed and motion. Moreover, the body brings into relief our life. However, all our activities are directed towards the protection and safety of our body only.
To lead a life on the mere physical plane is a very tough task because a change in our body gives rise to our worries. We, then, feel that we are passing away.
When my existence takes a leap into the depth of silence, then the body’s consciousness evaporates—for the body only stirs up ego in us. But this ‘I’ is not a body, though for the highest development of life the body is a necessity. After this realization I began to look after my body in the real sense of the word; for it is through knowledge and understanding of the body that we learn science. Then our health and spirits improve and the body becomes rested, stable, and free from poor health. In the same way, I understood the nature of my mind and the intellect. It made my existence still more light and it began to leap and bound—for lightness is a part of the air and only air is mobile. The restlessness of my mind began to flow like water and the excitation and the turmoil of my intellect, which is a part of fire, began to cool down.
All the instruments of our being, whether subtle or solid, are related to five elements. All our energy rises up to the sky and invigorates us for the day as the consciousness blooms so that:
~When we understand the body, we understand science.
~When we understand the mind, we comprehend some awareness in a study of psychology.
~When we understand the intellect, reflectiveness comes and teaches us philosophy.
~When we understand our self, we begin to perceive likeness and sameness in all; then all fear and worry vanishes.
~Boundary is the cause of trouble, and not the Infinite one.
~We ourselves draw the lines of demarcation and no one else.
Woe attacks the body only, not us.
The pain and trouble is borne by the Mind, not by us.
Wandering belongs to the Intellect, not to us.
It is the body that passes away, not us.
So when I experience something, what is this experience?
The shapes and hues of articles—
To whom do the colours and shapes belong?
To fire—
The eye—is a part of fire—colour and shape, too are a part of fire.
Then fire perceives fire—that is, its own shape in the eye.
In other words—
There is dissimilarity in colour, shape and size, but not in nature, characteristics, and qualities.
And I?
I am the mere experiencer—of the spreadoutness of the elements of fire.
Then, only the reflector—on characteristics
Then what do we gain?
Our understanding increases and we feel it easier to pass life. Then where am I?
When I experiences any object, my whole attention becomes focused on that object or topic. This attention is meditation, or awareness.
Knowledge is the development of the intellect after a keen understanding of the qualities and characteristics of things. Knowledge means Light.
Experience, when it becomes light, becomes awareness.
A complete illuminated awareness is ‘I’.
What then is the worth of life for me?
A period of beautiful awareness.
Then where is the feverish agitation full of woes and worries?
They occur and reoccur in life, but when they fail to imprison me, the poor ones slip away.
Today life twitters in a light state; it does not lose this light state because the disposition of the five elements and expression of painful feeling grant life an equilibrium. Then the body, the mind, and the intellect rightly perform their duties. Then begins an unknown journey. The experiences of this journey become a load and lead our life to a high summit and with that spreads the joy of perfection.
Since when we ponder over a thing, the intellect comes into action.
However, when an idea is given birth, knowledge and consciousness are born.
Because whatever we do with our mind, that is the part of the mind. Whatever we ponder over becomes a part of the intellect.
If today I write these words, it is an expansion of words because they again become a means for the cooperation of the mind and the intellect and then disappear.
What we are, we are neither an object nor a topic but all elements and topics are an expansion of that element. Thus, all thought and reflection becomes a spreadoutness of the intellect, when this part gives a glimpse of its shape or appearance. I now introduce you to this part.
I have received this experience with my eyes open. This experience did not give me the realization of my own I’ness myself:
I am standing in the kitchen—only standing.
Kitchen is there—yes, it is there.
Trees are there—yes, they are.
None has any separate existence—all exist together.
There is a unique experience in staying in a joyous environment. If I have no feeling and perception of ‘myself’, how can there be any distinction between my and your? There would also be no dividing line between a friend and an alien.
In this expanded self-identity, the world looks most colourful. How then can the boundary lines exist any longer? We can enjoy the world—and take proper note of it—but we no longer betray any deep attachment, neither with our physique nor with the world. Then we truly live and not merely drag on our existence.
For I perceive from very deep experience
Every pore on my skin is for my own self. In the same way, every object or topic is for one’s own self.
Because:
With the mutual cooperation of the mind, the intellect, and the body, I can apprehend and enjoy every object of use or entertainment. The experience of all these blossoms in the same shape and hue.
So what is the difference between my yesterday that has passed away and today?
In the days gone by I had no experience of my own self; the experience of this self-awareness comes when I exist in the positive state—which is also called Sehj Avasta—the easy state because that is our pure, immaculate spontaneous shape. It contains no element of ego. This ‘self-appearance’ is ‘awareness’, pure, radiant energy.
Friends, this time I felt again that:
In this energy the compound of five elements gives it a shape and appearance because the moments of meditation rise from inanimateness towards conscious-ness, and when we return, they flow in that current.
Once, it so happened:
When I opened my vacant eyes and looked around, a few minutes passed before I heard a few words arising from within. Who am I? What am I? Nearly ten minutes later:
Where am I?—In the room, lying down. I came to Canada—live with my children. I sat in peace—Oh! I am ‘Shaheer’.
After that this event again occurred. Then I remembered it is called jarh smadhi—root meditation in the Shastras. It caused no problem, but yielded much pleasure. The Vedas and the Shastras assert that the wayfarer of this journey becomes conversant with every part of life. This happening that transpired was very beautiful. This is the experience of trees and the lower animal life, for they have no minds. It introduces us to the Unknown Power as well as the world. It is also helpful in relishing one’s own savour. When I returned from this basic meditation, it took time to come back to the mind.
But this is my manifested appearance. It is the characteristic appearance of the disposition of the five elements because when I try to enter the depth of meditation I sense:
~Fragrance coming
~The ecstatic delight
~Something like illumination (this light contains seven colours)
~Some touch or contact
~Unearthly exploits taking place
~An echo heard in the breaths
These are the beautiful possibilities of the five elements which we later relate in our own way. Though everyone has a different experience, the result will be the same.
Peace = Contentment = Happiness
This expansion of ours is the expansion of Energy in a different way. When this Energy enters these five elements, it changes into colour, shape, and size.
Friends—human has freedom and the facility of making a choice. In other words, human is free to choose its own line of action.
What is human?
Human is energy that flows in the body comprising five elements. In other words, we can direct energy into any channel we like. Energy can be given a direction, if it has two aspects. Were energy to flow in one direction only, there would not be two directions for weal and woe, right and wrong, good and evil. Therefore, energy has two aspects and its choice suggests human’s freedom.
Energy is positive and negative.
The Vedic sages assert, “Perfection is born of perfection.” Thus both positive and negative energies are one hundred percent pure.
Positive energy—which combines all things
= Awareness that is 100 percent pure energy
Negative energy—which breaks and disintegrates
= The bomb that is 100 percent energy which when active can cause destruction.
The main source of both these energies is Braham or the Supreme Power. In life, also, every article of life has two parts—positive and negative.
Choice forms our freedom.
Because human is the cornerstone of the positive and the negative aspects of the five elements; it can become the Master of themselves and win the title of ‘Mahatma’, ‘Dharmatma’, and of ‘sage’ or ‘prophet’. However, for the acquisition of the knowledge of God, humans have to seek refuge in God; for though He is complete, human is only a part of God.
The part needs the largess of vastness.
Now I find this energy in action in life—it lies in every human in the state of small expanded fragments. Human is the synthesis of positive and negative energies; as he or she is the Master of their personal life, they enjoy the right of choice—of negative bias as well as positive bias.
Negative energy = woe, trouble, pain
Positive energy = comfort, happiness, patience, fortitude
The human with a positive tendency will be happy, while the human with a negative tendency will be in pain and trouble.
Positive inclination is different from positive energy.
Thus, I have a positive inclination, you may take it for my quality to remain cheerful, which is a part of my positive energy.
Now any person who does not know how to remain happy and cheerful will never feel pleased to see me happy. Therefore my positive energy will reject their negative energy and my contact or friendship with them will no longer live. But my inclination being positive, I won’t feel any pain or disappointment at its lack of cheerfulness; for having known the other persons temperament, I will have no complaint against them.
Thus, my inclination is positive, but I deal with the negative. This negative has the main benefit of making any negative energy into a positive inclination, which is all the more beautiful and makes my life flow towards positive energy.
Negative energy, whether our own or someone else’s, should be made positive for ourselves; it is the foremost task before us. So negative energy is not bad when it becomes positive for us. Negative thoughts are bad, not negative energy. Then whether we see a person in weal or in woe or in any other situation, they will become milestones for us.
Expression of a bad opinion—it will be in our interest for our betterment.
Suggestion of a good opinion—it will mitigate evil in us.
Now, I take it for granted that my inclination is positive but my wrong step made my environment negative; then how will this energy work?
Now my vice—I feel irritated—I was to remain in good cheers but I, instead, fret and fume. However, my positive energy will exploit this vice in me for a positive use. Now whatever individual, matter, situation, surrounding, or topic is contrary to my interests will be abolished by this irritation. This negative energy will work for positive ends for me so that I might regain my positive inclination and also make my environment positive. Our virtues and vices depend, to a considerable extent, on our ideals and what is the nature and direction of our deep desires—knowingly or unknowingly this deep desire becomes its fulfillment. For why this desire took its birth carries a long history of countless sanskaras (impressions). Therefore, whatever fails to impress our society or us is dreadful, and whatever we like is exquisite.
It is not action but the feeling underlying that really mattes; for life is boundless, endless. Therefore, even our negative energy acts as a positive energy and the positive becomes for us negative. If we are happy and contented, we are of a positive tendency; otherwise, we are of a negative commensurate with our magnitude of happiness and contentment.
Our existence, the world, and the universe, all, are an expansion of five elements and have been spread out taking different colours and forms of the same energy.
The smell of soil
The taste of water
The light of fire
The touch of air
The peace or quietness of Sky
Become our experiences in the moments of meditation—the original source of Energy lies far beyond them. Therefore, their mutual equilibrium also lends equilibrium to life. For example—air grants us life, but if the same air becomes fast and heavy in magnitude, it can also take our life as in the shape of a whirlwind. In the same way, every element has its importance and forte. Therefore, by giving balance to physical chemistry we have evolved all our japa (holy recitations), tapa (ascetical practices), and yoga Asnas (Yogic exercises). When we are peaceful and calm we enter the state of relaxation; this relaxed state is our genuine state in which lies the quintessence of life.
We do not enter into any reflection in this state or I might say all reflection ends in this state. Reflection takes place only when knowledge, in verbal form, lies in the Vedic scriptures. In this knowledge, all look uniform in shape or appearance—it has been called Aik omkar rupa, (divine appearance.)
Cooperation occurs between our inner silence and the external silence. This is the ‘state of silence’ containing quiet music—and is known as ‘Naad’ (Sound of the Infinite). This is the essential characteristic of the ‘akash’ element of the upper heavenly sphere.
Friends, I get wonderstruck at all this—as to what and how all this has transpired; only the glimpse of a few moments has changed all this. My speech faculty returned—the mind and the intellect crossed all limits; for I realized it, so it became something in relevant. I think that the experience of a moment or so has transformed all this. What would happen when I am abloom in those moments? Perhaps these words would not exist—Oh! This is the fruit of my wish; for my existence ever looked for a visit to Krishna, Buddha, and Nanak and the mind and the intellect of all such great people.
The Vedic scriptures talk of the destination, not of the path leading to it. In it, millions of people like me might be thinking that this spiritual quest is for a special type of people and not for us. Therefore, when I learned that the gear of the vehicle of life had changed, my life itself fulfilled its own wish. All that I am writing, is the life-story of a life—It is not to be taken as an account of my individual life, but in the sense that we all are the sharers of this life; for life is unlimited. Life is one and we are under limits, being the occupants of bodies, but in limited life’s shape.
In short, the consciousness of this experience can be expressed as “Wow!” In the same way, one day—
The pomp and show of my prayer was flowing to ecstatic limits; there were tears in my eyes and a convulsion in my existence—my life became so piteous; my throat was choked with cries. It was an unendurable state for me—when did I regain my peace? I cannot tell. I came to know of it, when suddenly—
I was filled with light. There was no I’ness.
Every part and portion of my body was in full awareness. I was being acquainted with every part of my body. Then the idea came—
Existence—composed of five elements
The universe—composed of five elements.
Then what is the difference between my life and this vacuum of the sky? It is a most beautiful and excellent experience—“Wow!”
Friends, I feel that:
My whole environment is illuminated; I too am sheer illumination, but in a strange sort of experience. I am conscious of my physical existence as well.
The combination of the body and the sky that I perceive is matchless and indescribable; there is only a difference of degree or quantity. The energy that pervades the five elements has myriad shapes and colours.
This body is the result of combination or synthesis of myriad shapes and hues of the energy that pervades the five elements. This universe is a big game of these very five elements. Then comes the turn to observe ourselves and we realize our trivial worth or significance.
If at the sight of so big and infinite a legacy our little frame begins to tremble with fear; there is no matter for wonder.
At the sight of such a big multitude, a suppressed cry becomes a shriek and thus betrays its eagerness to tear asunder its limited existence.
If I look at my genuine essence and then lose interest in asat things, what can be surprising about it?
During the moments of meditation our conscious-ness of these five elements is wiped out. Then we become the experiencers where only experience remains behind and there is mere energy.
These five elements are in motion; they are liable to change and if there is change, there will be motion or speed as well. You may call the soft murmur of speed a tremor or a rattle; it is there. This tremor can be audible only in the moments of silence. Then you may call it a melody, word, or something else. It makes no difference. When we transcend these tremors, we are only energy. Therefore, I describe all my experiences in this way.
Five cognitive actions + five cognitive organs = Body
The body + mind + the intellect + the feeling = I
The purity of the mind + the intellect = The heart
The enlightener of our heart = Our subconscious level
Until our understanding is fully brought into light we can have no consciousness of our intellect. When we perceive it, the mind begins to acquire stability; then we begin to realize this purity—that sacred purity which is our heart. In that we realize the significance of life, when the heart meditates on the Unknown. Meditation is always of the object of which we are aware. This brief ray is called chit, or the mind or the memory.
Therefore, it is with the purity of the mind and the intellect that we obtain the heart and the memory.
Now we have vices as well as virtues.
Disposition + virtues + vices + five senses+ strength + five elements = Energy
Energy has two aspects.
If there were only two aspects, who will make the choice?
The intellect
If the choice is made by the intellect, we shall naturally conclude that the intellect is mine and then ego will be born. Now this egoism is a limited thing. Therefore, it may be called a part. When this part moves about in the world with the egoistic consciousness, it looks at the objects appealing to the senses and thereby ras takes its birth and a desire to obtain them crops up.
I + taste =mind. Or in other words:
I + taste =desires.
Then it begins the controlled and restricted journey of our wishes. I may say that:
We become limited and finite through the part, and infinite and boundless by the expanded being, by the huge and gigantic.
I cannot say how I can write it all. How these verbal characters arrest and attract my observation. I do not know. I only know that the beauty of this world watches me with mysterious feelings and perceptions, and when I look at it, I feel that it too desires to share its secrets with me. How? I am conscious of it, but cannot express it in words. This consciousness is very deep as well as beautiful—and often being controlled by the lack of understanding tends to be lost. I need to offer prayer to get rid of this ignorance. I feel that its existence lies in renouncing it. Then what does the sense of dedication of the eyes along with long, deep breaths indicate?
Friends, what should I say about this period of today in which:
~understanding is wrapped in the lack of understanding
~understanding is besieged with ignorance
~light is surrounded by darkness
Or you may say:
The sun appeared at the dead of night and the Moon appeared in the daytime!
If in this state we have no faith in the sense of dedication and faith in the Unknown Power, then it will be hard to endure it.
We might have read of Vedas and the Puranas or Granths thousands of times, we might have attended the sermons of Krishna, Nanak, Buddha, and Jesus a million times, but our life doesn’t attain its transformation until the door of self-consciousness does not open.
Do I possess the same life today that I had in the years gone by?
“No!”
Today the Vedas and Shastras are right and the Buddha, Krishna, and others are right. For today I can follow their words and cannot say what would have become of me without them.
Is it within my capacity to make out so great material richness and vastness? No, it is a largess, but a largess fallen to my wish.
~That wish which has ever sought to obtain its release from restraints.
~That wish which has ever wished to have the wings of freedom
~That wish which has ever craved for infinity or boundlessness
Today I can easily assert that we become nothing superfluous in life, but only what we are just right and enough for us. It may be a poison or nectar. However, everything is happening within the range of our energy; in the same way our freedom and the authority to make a choice depends on the Supreme Powers kindness and benevolence. All, that is, every individual, is the master of its own body, mind, and intellect. This fact is supported by our freedom of choice. Then why not make a right choice of life and make it meaningful and worthy?
Today, at a sweet moment and in such a mood of dedication, have I found the freedom to say yes or no? Though behind this ‘my’ the real power or authority is of the Unknown One; yet as long as I am like a part, the part is supreme. For this part is also a fragment of the Huge One.
If we have the freedom of choice and also the right to the fruit of our capability and worth, then we also become responsible for our woes and worries. Therefore, joy or sorrow is the result of our own actions.
My moments of today assert that, so long as we do not feel calm and relaxed, it is our right and choice to guide our life. So first of all we should enjoy our own generosity and benevolence. I have come across many people in my life who said, quite frankly, with pride that they were atheists. In uttering the word ‘atheists’ they give a glimpse of their crudeness. In their normal, occupational life they also visited gurdwaras and temples. When I saw them do their obeisance, the frown on my forehead assumed the shape of the mark of interrogation, asked them about it, and even received an answer,
“We have to do it to keep matters going.”
And I would just shrug my shoulders and turn my face in the state of non-apprehension and observe reticence. I saw many such characters too who took pride in being called ‘atheists’. They never thought about whose existence they were denying.
Can they deny their own existence?
Such atheists can be without understanding—they are never wise, for they say,
“We can believe in what we see with our own eyes.” Well, today I muster up courage to ask them something.
Does the Sun actually rise?
Does the Sun actually set?
Can you see it yourself?
What will such innocent people take of life which is lived, but cannot be caught or touched? Then how can they see that chief source of life? Of course, they can experience it, for—
Energy can be felt and experienced.
Well, we shall discuss something, not far remote, but quite near at hand.
Do we see or only feel our emotions and sentiments?
We see ourselves in the mirror and not with our eyes, does it mean we also, do not exist?
Today to deny the Power Unknown is to deny our own existence. Only a senseless person will deny his own existence. It does not mean that seventy percent of human on the earth are theists. No—they ask, “Does God exist?” But these are mere words—not their faith. God is all in all in our talk, but in doing things we consider ourselves to be all in all. I only know that:
Religious Faith is neither for a theist nor for an atheist.
Temples and gurdwaras are equal. No one becomes a theist or an atheist by not visiting them. It is only our verbal garbs which cover and hide our hollow character.
Who is there who does not seek release from trouble or pain?
Who is there who does not wish for a happy and prosperous life?
We all love a happy and contented life lived to the maximum. That knowledge which can grant such life is called ‘Dharma’ (religion) and that path is called the spiritual path. Then whatever state we reach is called by different names so that they might give clarity to our present state and direction.
In this state, our life acquires spiritual energy, inner stability, and, along with mental and intellectual beauty, also physical health. Alternatively, you may say that the combination of these beautiful achievements is called Mahatma, Dharmatama, or Parmatma. Thus, religion is not for the stupid or for the wrong type of people, it is for:
~those who—having been disgusted with troubles—are in search of a happy life
~those who recognize the superficial elements and wish to come by essential elements
~those who understand the worthlessness of the mind and the stray character of the intellect
If such people assert that they are theists, they are such. If they say that they are atheists; they are atheists, for I know what they would say.
They will not brook servitude of any word and would keep silent because verbal garments are used in the state of incompletion. Perfection needs no words to express it. If some one were to ask me today, “Shaheer, what did you gain? How much development did you have?” My answer would be, “I do not know what I achieved, but only feel what I missed.”
The thick snare of troubles, worries, and fears has been broken.
I got rid of weaknesses, restraints, and impediments.
How?
I realized their root cause and the method of getting out of them. As long as there are defects or shortcomings, life cannot become a spring. When spring begins to set in life, Religion opens its arms to take us within its fold. It then breaks the chain of ego or I’ness and the world learns how to live beautifully. For today my life is descending into a deep origin and it is widening my intellectual horizon.
For I have been feeling that:
A common human cannot have any religion. It is meant only for the elite. Big bombastic words that hide truth tend to make people irreligious. The individual concerned also realizes that he/she cannot obtain access to religion. So the step faces its defeat before it advances and the life has to be dragged on. Then this question arose, why children are getting nearer to science? It has many aspects, but today I will only say,
“What we have accepted as religions are not true religions, they are only so many paths to religion. To understand religion we must understand the person concerned.” The identity of religion is positive, not negative. Religion begins from one’s own self, not from others. To realize and come by religion we have only to know and not to do anything.
And
Science is a beautiful part of our life as a whole.
What does Religion do?
~Japa (holy recitation), tapa (ascetical exercises), puja (worship), and prayer in order to have concentration and later the state of relaxation through meditation.
What is Science?
Exploration and again exploration—it is not possible for a talkative, restless, half-witted, or mad person. It is only possible for the human with a concentrated mind and a beautiful intellect—that person who has transcended all sensual and tempting desires—who has a reflective mind and is a human of knowledge and scholarship. For they who reflect upon the nature of element and ponders over its cause and utility and the true shape of material objects can value science. It is a progressed part of our being and a mark of our basic centre—a part of its energy.
Thus, the beauty that lies in the eye of a scientist is not found in a Granthi or a Pandit’s eye, for—
We acquire equipoise only through the right use of our mind and intellect, and this equipoise is indispensable for subtle beauty. Whatever the scientist does that development is the result of the true understanding of the mind and the intellect. However, did you ever consider which energy is being employed in every exploration and exists in the scientist?
One discovery lends comfort to every life, while pandits and granthis cannot make even themselves comfortable and happy.
On this account, children are closer to science than to religion, for they know where beauty lies.
~What is a scientist?
A human who has understood this word ‘Scientist’.
~What is the function of science?
It makes an inquiry into the true shape of the constituents of material objects.
~Who can become an explorer?
One who is stable of mind and is wise and intellectually sound.
It is one thing to read words, it brings in animation; however, in reading the words, if we try to live in their sense we become wise.
Whatever there is and whatever is happening is because of that Unknown Energy. It lies in rich abundance in every part of this world and in every tempting object.
Unknown Energy is so perfect that moist eyes and deep sighs silence it.
It is a world—it is perfect.
It is a tree—it is perfect.
It is a human—it is perfect.
If we feel incompletion anywhere, it is not outside us but within us; for incompletion is the result of ignorance and ignorance is because of our egotism.
Therefore, the world is in possession of knowledge. This knowledge has not been made by my body nor has it traced its origin. We all are in possession of knowledge, but our knowledge has been hidden in our I’ness, our ego. As long as we suffer from I’ness, no acquisition of knowledge is possible, for—
Knowledge is discovered with knowledge, not with ignorance.
Now, difference or discrepancy lies not between knowledge, and knowledge but between the subject and the material objects. All subjects and material objects have different characteristics. So the knower of different sciences have been given different names.
What bears relationship with the objects of the visible world is knowledge—it is the task of the intellect.
What is related to the true elemental shape is—science.
Here Science works.
What is related to human’s genuine elemental appearance—is intuition or knowledge divine.
Here Religion is in action.
Let there be any kind of knowledge; all kinds are linked to our awareness. This awareness is every human’s character trait. All these are the beautiful parts of life and the embodiments of the Unknown One. However, life becomes perfect only through self-realization. It is true that, like a scientist, I cannot separate the quantity of the five elements from themselves; but the quintessence knows the true character of these five elements:
The same original element which even the scientific method cannot prove.
Those original elements which even the eye can never see. Today science is in search of the One hidden behind this great variety of the Integrate one which lies hidden in this disintegration.
The cause behind this vast, active phenomenon.
Religion, too, investigates this infinite, huge Integrate One.
Topics are different, the destination is common. This beautiful development of the world is taking place with mutual cooperation. We can have the knowledge of this cooperation by means of our intellect, but its experience comes to us only by transcending the intellect. For this cooperation is without limits; none can see it with his limited feelings and perceptions. Therefore—
“We do not exist despite our existence and exist despite our non-existence.”
This experience is of the highest excellence; for this experience comes not through reflectiveness, but through the lack of reflection. Though all experiences are knowledge, this experience transcends knowledge.
Just as—
The stir in the air
The light of the fire
The liquidity of water
All is knowledge
But—
“I, despite existing, do not exist and, despite my non-existence, do exist.”
This experience transcends knowledge. It performed my last rite; and after this last rite, I underwent a tremendous change. I asked myself
Is there anything more to find out?
Or again:
Is there anything more to know?
Is there anything more to do?
Today all activities of life are coming to an end. I very keenly watch this manifestation of life. Now I need nothing from this place.
Now the unique journey started under inspiration. A brief glimpse of the self ended a journey of three spheres and a base. I now began to see wholesale change, not only in the world, but also in all things. Here my longing came to an end.
If weeping looks beautiful, smiling, too, looks beautiful. Now all those feelings and perceptions that bring me happiness—as well as sorrow—all became mine. Up ‘til now Shaheer had started—had just started—but today she undertook a long tour under inspiration which made the body, the mind, and the intellect her companions. She got ready to traverse life, fragrant with new feelings and realisations and another field of special experience.
~The gait of which has a motion, but a halted motion
~Which has thirst, but a satiated thirst
~Which has a tune, but no musical organ
~Which takes down feelings and perceptions, but with breaths
~Which reads these words, but with tears in the eyes
~Which goes on saying that,
“Experience is necessary before renunciation.”
So as long as there is no renunciation, there is no sense of loneliness.
Verag or the sense of loneliness means—a state of fatigue caused by trouble and the pangs of separation and the state of tiresomeness induced by the boring daily chores. Then Verag becomes a noble virtue of the mind which shies away from superfluous topics and valueless things.
Whatever happens in life is good and whatever we do never gives us the consciousness of peace and comfort. Life makes its own way. It asks its own questions, gives its own answers, and thus comes to bloom. Today, I feel that I do nothing; then who does all these things?
When Shaheer started, life had another shape and colour. Today when I see my life taking tipsy steps, Shaheer loses itself.
It is the perfect state of wishes expressed in life which marches on. In addition, when some new inspiration rises from within, it wields the steering wheel of life. Friends, today this inspiration asks me,
“Tell me how the world looks today.”
“The world seems to be a beautiful game.” I respond.
“Tell how you take the world? What about its existence?”
“Its being neither looks like a dream nor seems to be a delusion. It looks like an encampment which we have to cross in our travel. It looked like a dream when I took the first step into Verag (loneliness). It also looked like a delusion, when my own existence looked like a puppet. But today the world and every person seems to be perfect; for wherever it stands, it must be complete and perfect,” I respond.
If an individual feels any pain or discomfort, it must have some weakness or deficiency. For its deficiency must be of such a type as shows that person’s true, individual self; and if it is a weakness, this weakness can be removed only by making it conscious of it. Therefore, for me, the positive and the negative are already perfect.
This world is a playground where every person is a player, so it will have curiosity according to its own nature and situation and then this curiosity determines a direction for itself.
More over, all the people cannot become deserving of the final and supreme element in one birth or lifetime; for it is a journey not of one lifetime, but of several lifetimes. On this account the situation is also very critical. In it there is mere love; for our inspiration tells us that an individuals will bound joyfully, if they sits in a meditative state for sometime daily and ponders over ‘who am I?’
Today my life is being activated by these pens and papers, so that in this critical state I might make myself weightless.
For a person, despite enduring numerous kinds of pains and troubles, is not annoyed or bored by them. With the help of new desires and wishes it carries the loads of fears, worries, and anxieties.
But how long?
Will troubles make a prey of them?
Despite understanding everything, this lack of understanding looks very dear—which taking the form of petition begins to flow on.
But I will only reveal that:
When I had I’ness, this world was an abode of pains and troubles and all sorts of restraints; now this world has become a mansion of happiness and bliss. For—
There is everything in life, though we do not do. But even when we see through our body, mind, and intellect, we too, become the doers. For we are a part of the Unknown One. Then we shall try to obtain the means of our happiness, ease, and comfort, considering them to be the fruit of our own labour. We shall also have worry lest it be lost.
Of course, if this inspiration is making us feel that we are not doing all this, but it is simply happening of its own accord, then it does not say it in its individual capacity but in a collective sense. When all is one, then how can these numerous beings be the doers?
Today, in this atmosphere of spring the words of every Veda and Shastra can easily be apprehended. I am then impelled to say, “It is all a miracle!” With this inspiration, this period becomes all the more pleasant and enjoyable; for—
The construction of every article
The destination of every topic
The identity of every individual
Makes our sight colourful.
And regarding this life I might say that:
Life is an invaluable journey. It has countless colours—every colour and shape has a relish of its own—and it is matchless. When there is trouble, we become its symbols—if there is joy, we become hilarious.
As long as we have egoistic element, we, in our giddy state, are a manifestation of God. When there is no sense of I’ness and we are in an energetic state, then we are a manifestation of God in our no corporeal state.
Then how can we say who we are and what we do?
For—
Despite being all, we are nothing,
And despite being ‘some’, we are all.
We can never deny this truth. Today along with these realizations, I will share one thing more. The individual asks this question:-
If saints and prophets, sages and seers were all gods, why could they not improve and transform their own children or other members of their families, but took to improving and reforming the people at large?
First of all, in the attainment of the highest spiritual state I’ness plays no role. When there is no ‘I’, or ego, then there will be no ‘my family’. There is only the exploration of the Unknown that is not confined to any limits. Everyone belongs to the spiritual state and it belongs to everyone. They are all above attachment and beyond all limits, and cannot specially favour any person.
Secondly, people must know that all have to follow their own sanskars to get rid of the snare of these sanskars in the journey of life. Because—
It is in understanding the true shape of existence that ignorance can be destroyed. Friends—
They are sharing this tall talk not only with you, but with me too and at what height of astonishment I am standing, you cannot imagine.
Because I see that:
It is the grandeur of the Unknown Power that, despite being so great and glorious, gives the whole credit to an individual and thereby burnishes its individuality. So, in the interests of human progress the Unknown Power should serve as a milestone. Where this feeling prevails some person has discovered and known such and such a secret that has now become free from all restraints and has gotten rid of all trouble and pain.
In short, the part makes the whole glorious and the whole bestows upon the part the title of “the paragon of the divine creation.” ‘Wow!’ 
It is a most romantic journey where a drop makes pranks with the ocean and the part with the vast whole.
Friends, when every effort of a person and every step become engaged in understanding the world as well as the Universe, then whatever it achieves in its individual life is conveyed to the world in a usual manner.
In the same way, if you cast a careful glance at a material object (e.g. a tree,) you will see the same aspects—that whatever it obtains it makes clear in the same manner later on.
So the chief distinctive feature of a person is its rational, reflective character. In other words, human alone has the rational character—or that only they who can think and consider deserve to be called a ‘human’.
Human’s definition is: one who expresses themselves in genuine, pristine shape—or one who is just about to enter the ‘relaxed’ (spiritual) state. Human is a living, flesh and blood science through whose medium the chief facility, or comfort, of the world is produced.
Friends, today I realize the true glory of being human and I wish I could awaken all humans. But what should I do? Who will wake up at my call?
I can only depend on the assistance of pen and paper that enable the flow of my feelings to acquire more speed.
Today, in this environment, not only worldly comforts, but even the pleasures and comforts of the whole universe look trivial so that I cannot pay heed to the world. However, an individual is a very good-looking object. It is difficult to segregate myself from it.
Hence, friends, by relating in words this pleasant journey, I offer your good self too the aroma of this unique encampment of a unique journey. Kindly accept this dedication and cordially make me, a co-sharer of your life.
With compliments ‘Shaheer’


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