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Which City was this that only dealt with Death


               Which City was this that only dealt with Death.

2000 to 2004 my search was death. It became my obsession to see, understand, and know death. No matter where I went discussion and debate of death came along. The search of death acquainted many shapes of death. Death of body, death of emotion, thoughts death, death of fear, death of suffocating, death of helplessness, death of relationships, death of pain, death of money, death of ego, death of I, then the death of death. In death’s environment one life is born. In everyone I saw how they brought death and sold life. Death was being sold all around; life was nowhere to be seen. Death was consuming death, death giving birth to death. This death gave birth to me.
Which city was this that only dealt with death? Then what am I? I am also death, but now I am gazing at death instead, so now I’m I life?
Everyone believes they are living; there is no bigger illusion then the mind’s trickery. Mind’s life is in illusion, if our own mind deceives us how can we be angry with someone else? 
Life exists in the womb of Death. Death contacts us with life’s truth. I seems as if I have awaken after many centuries, like when a human in a dream doesn’t realizes its dreaming until one awakes saying, “Oh this was a dream.” Today our living is also a dream. Mind is awake and with an open eyes dreams. A desire arose to see another shape of death. 
When someone dies, is there change in energy?
Will I be able to feel this energy?
Energy Changes, death comes, environment changes, and eyes change in the dying…Wow! The desire arose to see death up close.



I: “Bibi,( maa) when are you going to die?”
Bibi: laughing, “Oh, so for your experiment, I should die” 
I: “But it came in my heart, bapu ji ..( father).. has already past so my eyes are on you”
Bibi: “but what do you want to see?”
I: “Myself”
Bibi: “Why don’t you just think of me as dead.”
I: “That won’t work”
Bibi: “Then you will have to wait.”
Bibi’s death succeeds my truthful feeling because practical convey where life is breathing. In the search of death, future’s shape taught how the future is seen in the present.

A free person thinks of death least of all things; and his action is a meditation not of death but of life...
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