Then starts spiritualism

An interview with my longing. 
I have always carried on my journey of life, besieged within my mind, my intellect as the blast of gunpowder. Just as I lose myself in the social and mundane spheres, in the same way the surrounding by the whirlwind of Peace and disturbance brings about a clash between virtues and vices. The thread of my breaths are running in a most critical and unendurable plight, perhaps it is the same Ocean of 'existence' which the sages and prophets of the past have hinted at, but a special longing keeps whetting my mind. For example, take Lord Buddha's spiritual quest: whatever passes in his mind, during the six long years of his mental and intellectual struggle, only the Buddha can explain. There is no account available. My 'self', however, ever requires a detailed account of that inner, spiritual conflict. In the same way there is, no doubt, a mention of the detached minds of Kabir, Nanak, Krishna, Jesus, and others; what were their feelings when their sanskars, gradually met obliteration? When all their trammels and restraints were broken, how did they feel? This question arises because everybody has their own experience, unshared by others. The longing, to know of their personal experiences, always stirs in my mind. We forever remain ignorant of this subtle, spiritual journey of great people personages. When accounts of these important moments of their lives are available, then we form an idea of their so momentous journeys. Then starts spiritualism. Every common person thinks that this path is meant only for special people, they are only mediocre. How can they embark on this spiritual quest? Someone might have thought about it as I do, or might have ignored it. But I have ever been longing to undertake their spiritual journey. Today, keeping in view my life's journey, I wish to fulfill this longing, for I don't know what my future has in store for me. If I look now in my life, I anticipate my future to be very bright. But when will this journey find its successful culmination? I do not know whether it will happen in the next life or during this very 'existence'. However, I will relate my subtle spiritual quest. There may be some other individual sharing with me my longing. So today, I entrust to you the second series of my longing. Whatever it may be, accept it as my life's journey.