Relationship (Father and Daughter)

Nature or Temperament

—the most important part of Life, the most essential part of Life, is to make life explicit. The importance of Life is due to this temperament.

The first link 

 in my Temperament was my Stubbornness

This stubbornness was neither harmful to anybody nor useful, but it stood by me in good stead, even in my wrong steps.

I have always done what I liked. Even in the conjunction of some rare moments, I have never followed the desires of others. For me, the most important thing is the guidance of my ‘why’ and how I act upon it. I have a Beautiful aspect of my temperament, which keeps me miles away from partiality.

I was, at one time, well impressed with the lifestyle, nature, or temperament of a speaker and not at the relationship with that person. I could never become a part of anybody’s hauteur, envy, selfishness, and foolishness. At that time, I was not aware of my ‘why’, probably because I was lost in a thick fog. Perhaps the activities of my mind were an indication of this ‘why’ in me. In that part of my life, that has now passed, my ‘why’ applied to itself the label of stubbornness.

For me today, the most influential person was my revered father. But during his last moments I did not obey him. My father was a man of satu-gunas (pure virtue ), a man of action, a man practicing asceticism. His existence carried so much importance for me, which I can’t explain. However, his virtues were ill balanced. In order to acquire his virtues, I needed the watchman-ship of knowledge. I lacked the present moments; therefore, I could not understand him. But my ‘why’ understood his virtues. So his hesitancy, reserve, first preference for others, even though they might be wrong—always incurred my disapproval.

This was the most critical moment of his Satvik ( Pure) journey of Life that he could not call even a bad person bad. This state of his mind suggested to me some elements of servitude, settled deep at the depth of his being. His servitude, even though satvik, became for me only Freedom and still more Freedom. To reject my father, was for me, the rejection of the world. His death was the Death of a daughter—the Death of a daughter’s world! His cancer became for me the consciousness of seeing a bigger world!

But his pilgrimage of Life, which involved recognizing all relationships, left me a non-pilgrim; it became a milestone for me in my spiritual quest to know myself. For my ‘why’ having watched his life, stuck this poster to the four-walls of my life—that:

Relationships should not be taken in the sense of so many restraints, but as opportunities for mutual cooperation.

So breaking these restraints awards me the badge of stubbornness.

* Chapter: Journey through personality